Signs of wife having an affair

Weekends saying he was playing golf or working — what lies!!! Hi i agree. To be avoiding me constantley picking arguments and knoc king. My appearance and dress code. Its not nice not when you w you have been good person and good loyal honest. Well take care. I know another sign of cheating not mentioned here, dealing with the vehicle.

My wife takes the truck to work. He throws me a big 50th Birthday Party and days later says he wants a divorce. Great, comprehensive list of what to look for. My personal experience leads me to urge, pay attention. She left me just before Christmas, disabled with early heart disease. The tracks were covered then. Even still, most of the above fit. By the time I started checking, it has just left me with wondering.

Am I wrong or right? Maybe there is something different with me, but it DOES matter. Strange how it gets twisted and turned around on you.

Infidelity- Signs of an affair

I wish I knew the truth. I know how you feel, mine said they were just friends, but I was lied to about their relationship. I also spent 27 years with him what a waste! I had all the above three points, I analysied her behavior, asked her many many many times whether she literary cheated on me or not, and she said no, never, If I had done that, I d have told you and this make or break. Here is his number you can call him and ask! My wife completely blocked me from her Facebook and her behavior changed. All of her changed behaviors were listed above. When it came to her Facebook she said it was private and I needed to respect that.

I left her then and she still denied everything and blames the end of the marriage on me. Went thru the same thing man. FB is a great tool for a cheater. Demand access to all accounts incl emails. How do you check the SMS? He had to change jobs. His company paid for his phone. We had to add him to mine. He keeps saying he should just get a track phone.

I know he cheated on me. Gut, and tell tail signs. I was ready to leave and he asked me to stay. I have No trust, but a lot to give up. I want proof, I want to knock his dick in the dirt. I agree wholeheartedly, summer. All of this would go on after I wen to bed, because poor boring me—I am a teacher and have to go to bed early. What a sucker I was. I must say everyone is responsible for their own behavior…yet since all these social website are online people can cheated with.

My husband has displayed most of the signs above. But the one thing I trust the most is my gut feeling, or sixth sense as I like to call it. I think he is cheating on me. Unfortunately, I have no proof. So, my plan of retaliation is the following: I go to the gym every day I take out my frustrations and I burn calories at the same time. I started buying trendy clothes, I have my make up on all day, so when he gets home I look good, and I act like is all good not a care in the world.

If he does leaves me! So, bring it on. I totally agree with you I am doing the same I know I deserve better than him so let him get on with it he is the bad one in the relationship so good luck to him. So if its just a chat. The best way to know if your husband is cheating is to check his messages and calls when he is busy and unaware of his phone or taking a nice long hot shower. At least you can decide now whether to leave him or confront him.

You will never be able to trust a cheat again. If you are honest ,honest people deserve honest people. Cheats are not made for honest people. Cheats need to tango with cheats like themselves. I agree totally my husband had the nerve to accidently pushed and called me it went to voice mail I listen to his yell her name plus jenny told Robert I love you and Robert told jenny I love you too now come on Robert never said to me I love you too ever since we been together he makes excscuses up oh Saturday I work no just a lie to see the B….

I feel the same way with my wife. I not a bad looking guy and i have let a lot of chances go away cuz im trying to have a family. We just had a fantastic vacation in Hawaii two months ago. I was not even invited to go this time. Am I being paranoid, or should I be on my guard? In other words, not hiding stuff. If he rages, that would raise a bigger red flag. Double check bank statements and phone bills, with an open mind and an attitude of just verifying trustworthiness. Diane, One would think after 22 years of marital bliss, you could tell him your concerns.

So ask him. Everything that affaircare is saying is happening to me, i dont knw what to do.. Before Christmas my wife said our marriage was over! On the 16th December she has her works Christmas party and gets home at !! I show her teh card and she says he is just a friend!! In the new year I find her mobile phone bill and can see 20 to 30 text messages a day starting in October.

Again she says he is just a friend!!! In my mind I have do doubt she is having an affair as on 23rd December she went late night shopping, but I found the receipt for the items and it was stamped In addition, on the weekend I went out with my son there are only 1 or 2 text messages in the morning, but othere weekends 20 to 30 all day. I now need to decide what to do, as she has asked to time to see how she feels and she cars for me but does not love me.

I have moved out and plan to divorce her…. My wife continues to say they are just friends and nothing has happened! What the name of the company your wife work for? Very risky for anyone to answer a question like that. It would be foolish and possibly dangerous. You need to figure things out for yourself. If you think he is cheating, end your engagement, especially if you are already asking questions. You have doubts. The receipt would have been the clincher for me! Of course she would have covered that by saying she did go shopping somewhere else but threw the receipt away.

Or her female friends did the shopping and she was with them. Matthew, it depends. In my case my wife of 24 years denied everything even when I had overwhelming proof. Cheaters will do or say anything even lie straight to your face. This is the facebook era and while many married people are able to have friends of the opposite sex.

Some sadly use that poise as justification. I have given up looking for more evidence, as I have no doubt in my mind what she was up to, and it was starting to drive me mad! The past month has been tough, but I have now come to terms with getting a divorce and I am looking forward to a new life. Mathew, I completely understand. My D Day was December 4th and the woman who I married at 18 was the love of my life. I as well am looking forward to a new life and hoping to find a woman who does not lie nor cheat and knows what honesty is all about.

Good luck to you mate, just remember arguing and fighting will lead nowhere and being a gentleman with dignity and poise will show who shines the most. Cheaters want it all- they want the spice of a new fling, while having the safety of a family. They lie and lie and lie — to themselves, family, friends, etc.

She is just not ready to leave the family yet. Ill tell you what will happen, they will get a heads up from you and become better at hiding their affair. Invest a or dollars and buy yourself some surveillance gadget, those never lie. If your marriage means anything, dollars wont kill you. But you will get your evidence if it exists. If it sounds like complete and utter BS, it probably is. Good site! I am married for 16 years now. I love my wife and believe that come what may I should stand by her. I was surprised to know that I had an affair and I did not know it.

I tried telling her that it was her imagination but she never agrees. We changed house and the same blame of affair with the opposite house lady was made. But now with repeated allegations I am now convinced that there is some thing more than what I can see. Also from the past 4 years she is become more hostile to my parents and relatives. At times she fumes at the mere mention of names. She disregards anything I do and does not like anything I do or say at all. I have in fact given them gifts, trips etc which are forgotten, I do not know what does all this mean my life is getting worse day by day.

Dhar, it sounds like to me you are dealing with someone who has serious mental health issues, and unfortunately you have become an accomplice. She is the puppet master while you and your son are manipulated by her strings. Now tell me I am wrong here, but for the most part from the time you wake up, until the time you go to sleep, your life is filled with drama- her drama. You have no real inner-peace, security or romance with her, and sex is nearly non-existent, until she might initiate it which is rare, and usually with motive.

Sometimes she will simply stop speaking to you for hours or even days. The things and people you love, well almost certainly she finds fault. In fact she finds fault with everything. You have become a tortured soul, even though you are a very decent individual. Stop being so pious and naive. Stand by her? So you can walk on egg shells each day, do everything to earn her praise, and make her happy?

Your spouse probably has a narcissistic personality disorder, and you, her and your poor son live in a world created by your wife if you stop and thing about it. You live in the world of codependency. Now that is my guess and only that. Chances are you will do nothing, and continue to live in her warped world. If I were you? Not for you as a couple, but for you as a person. Do not tell wife or son about therapy. Continue in therapy and start to see a beautiful life ahead of you, and without that evil and manipulative woman in your life.

Get an attorney and create an exit strategy. I would give her no advance warning. Have the attorney advise you on local laws, and how you should go about taking some needed cash. Ask him about those credit cards the bittch has run up- often living beyond her means. If the price for your sanity is bankruptcy, that is not so big in the scheme of things. Once you leave her, her lovely character will take a quantum leap, where she calls your employer, friends and family and accuses you of everything in the book. She will torture you with questions as she is losing what she loves most.

No not you silly. Her hold on you. She will try to entice you with sex, but you now see her insides where you are totally repulsed. Keep your cell phone, but get a separate one for yourself. Give it to no one she knows. You are in for quite a ride. She is going to have a ball using your son to get to you!

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Just let it roll off you. Continue in therapy. You deserve a life of peace, love and tranquility. Things will get better and in a while down the road you will be whole again, and find a woman that loves you back. In the meantime get out asap! Save yourself, and your son. A man is only as good as his word. I also agree with Brock. Good luck! That was my solution also. I am so glad I found someone is dealing with this in this way. Thank you for your post. I do have a question. How do you maintain your strength knowing this without letting on to any insecurities?

There are days when I feel strong and can do this and days when he zaps my self esteem. Take it from me.. Get counseling to help you move past it and make the rest of your life the best! Building an awesome life without her is the best thing to do to make her regret ever cheating. Your not in the wrong I also am going through the same as you, but fits all the signs off what I have just read, but the sad thing he is having an affair with one of my friends I think it has been going on for years but this is her second family to breakup I confronted him and asked him he screamed and shouted and degraded me put me down to my sons told them that their Mother was crazy.

He hits me two weeks ago I had to drive myself to hospitial where he pushed me on top of a broken one of his beer bottles I had to have six stitches he would not help me he thought I would bleed out and make way for this toerag he is a binge alco things are getting worse. I am terrified of him he steels my glasses breaks them how I found out he is having an affair is I found a script for viagaro in his ute and he told me he would never touch me again. But the bitch he is having the affair wit is older than me I had that gut feeling for years she kissed and hugged him in front of me two weeks ago I have told my husband bastard that I am telling her hubby about it and he again threnthened to get me locked up.

These people that ruins lifes and families are not worthy of being called humans their new name is L. But now, I think he got all worked up by the late night porn watching. I dun know if this is healthy at all with the porn thing… and i have been so confused for weeks already. Browse porn and whatnot. As a married man I can tell you that I browsed porn and maintained a healthy relationship with my wife for over 25 years. Obviously he is wanting something you are not offering. Take care to pay attention to that, because if he draws in to much he will transition to real life for that fantasy.

Anyhow, just offering you a mans point of view. No excuse for watching porn. When you lower your gaze and look only upon your wife you will find your wife to be the most gorgeous women on the face of the planet. But when you look at other women who you have no right to look at even if those women are stupid enough to make display of their bodies then you will find your wife less attractive because you begin to compare her with the idiots who show themselves to every tom,dickson and harry.

Porn is absolutely filthy. My ex-wife and I started dating about 3 years ago after being divorced for 7 years. We live in separate homes, get along well, and have a really awesome intimate life-I wish we could have had this before the divorce. Her sex drive actually increased after menopause, like tenfold or so. This co-worker is a male slut, has track record of that. So, I warned my ex about that, to be careful. However, for about a year now, my ex and co-workers of hers have been getting together on a monthly basis more or less , going to clubs, dinner, or the movies.

During this time, she only told me of ONE outing. And, she left out the part about Mr. Male Slut going along. But let me go to May …. I had no reason to distrust her, until May, when she called me upset about her suspicions that Male Slut was sleeping with one of her co-worker friends. The affair had actually never happened, she was just overly suspicious. Fast forward to last December. She tells me she has been emotional lately, cries for no apparent reason. Hormones are not an issue, as she is past menopause, like I mentioned. She had told me about going out with her friends one time last year, one time only.

After a few beers at home one night, I asked her about this, making the assumptions that they had gone out more than once, and that Male Slut was there. She fell for it, and she said they had gone out twice, and that yes, he was there. Several weeks later, little by little, it came out they had gone out several times, with Mr. Male Slut coming along.

She got very fidgety and had a nervous laughter-blush when I asked this. She says that she and Mr. MS have never gone out alone, always at least one of her friends comes along. Then again, she may just be a very good liar. No Affair -she promised, on our own daughters and grandchild, that she has never had sex with Mr.

8 Signs Your Wife Might be Having an Affair

MS -says she lied about him because she knew I would be upset -all calls are 2 min or less -FWIW, we continued being intimate throughout all this time -she agreed to not go out w co-workers, esp him, ever again -we seem to be developing more feelings towards each other since this blew up about 6 weeks ago. My thoughts are that she had at least an emotional affair with Mr. Male Slut, with possibly some intimacy. I have had a hard time getting her to admit to much, just bits and pieces here and there.

She has apologized, but still denies any feelings whatsoever toward him, much less any sexual relationship. She says they never danced together, held hands, nor kissed. She says she loves me. Lastly, I have to be honest: I had not planned to ever re-marry this woman, but since finding out all this stuff, the thought of losing her like this has made me stop to reconsider our relationship.

I guess the fact that someone else could take her from me, makes me want to hold on to her even more. Oddly enough, sex has been even hotter now. The pictures in my mind of her with someone else fuels things up…kinda weird, no? Thanks for all your input. Raul , that is some pretty intense insight. As someone who has recently been through my wife having an EA I can say that the stress and worry that comes with dealing with situations can be somewhat overwhelming. However, if your wife ex says she loves you and you say you cannot let her go then do what your heart says to do.

I admit also it is a very huge turn on for some men to fantasize their wives being with other men. Sort of tingles me also , BUT do not cross that line if you are not prepared for the consequences. I would say that your wife seems to just want to have fun and cut loose, I mean if she is not coming home and never home what is the big deal? If she is at home with you and everything you do and watch is good then why look into more than what you are seeing. I am just saying that if you guys are having a healthy sex life and you both are speaking to one another , then let her enjoy her life.

Yes, woman DO need time to themselves to feel free. I would say that you should chill a LOT and let her do her thing.

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  • 10 Signs Your Spouse Is Cheating | Psychology Today?
  • Learn about behaviors that could be clues of betrayal;
  • See my point? As such, there is no more reason to single out his behavior from the majority of men anywhere. The reason I point all of these out is to get to the first of the root problems in your situation:. Marriage differs from all else in one thing only. Look at it this way: you can have sex with anyone — no marriage necessary. You can be friends with anyone — no marriage necessary.

    You can have children with anyone — no marriage necessary. You can buy appliances or real estate with anyone — no marriage necessary. You can go on long vacations, go to concerts and so on — no marriage necessary. The one thing that makes marriage different it the fact that it is a commitment — a contractual agreement. When you marry someone, you make a specific contract, or commitment — with that person. Depending on the terms to which you agree, you marriage is defined. There may be other places that define it differently; this is what we use here.

    Because neither you, your ex-wife, nor Male Slut are married, there is no contract or commitment to any party involved. Is this not also true of Male Slut? Perhaps he may step beyond that and wreck marriages, but that is pretty much irrelevant in the case of the parties involved here no marriage to wreck. Why is this so important? Because at this point in time, you are in the position of evaluating another person as a prospective partner: someone with whom you may or may not wish to enter into marriage contract.

    How they act now, how you act now, will determine the wisdom of such a choice. The second root problem I see in your relationship is the fact that your ex-wife finds it difficult to be open and honest with you. Option 1 Your ex-wife is an habitually dishonest person, one who finds that hiding from the truth makes life easier to cope. Option 2 You are perceived by your ex-wife as one to whom revelations and honesty are not safely received. That is, you do not make the environment safe for her to be open with you: perhaps you are harsh in judgment, or highly critical.

    There are also many other possible reasons: I only present a couple. Thats an area that you should deeply consider: it will affect ANY future relationship you have: the choice of person you want to be with, the type of person you are, etc. Your choice of descriptor reveals much.

    The problem is that this can lead to clouding your judgment regarding your ex-wife. You may well embellish and add to the situation, building up a horrible monster in your own imagination. What if she does? Is it not her choice to make — even her mistake to learn from? How free is she in this relationship? How much control do you exert over her moves, her life?

    23 Physical Signs of Wife Having an Affair You Don’t Know

    Things to think about! Perhaps your ex-wife is not the person you want her to be, and you are trying to make her into your idea? Keep that in mind! Thanks David for such a complete response. There is something I disagree with, notwithstanding the definition of marital commitment you describe.

    Firs of all, there is the implied commitment oin being in a relationship, married or not. If the two partners in a non-married relationship subscribe to your school of thought, then that would mean either of them could go out, or have sex, with anyone they wish-how unrealistic is that?

    The implication, when she hid them, is that she KNEW there was, or should have been, the expectation of exclusivity between her and me. She was hiding something, hence she knew she was doing wrong. Her supposed expectation that I would be upset could have played a part in hiding this of course. And that was because she KNEW we had an unspoken understanding of being exclusive to one another. My girlfriend is not to see anyone else, and her boyfriend me shall not do likewise. He turned on the charm he is so well known for, and she fell for it.

    The hiding, on her part, is the problem. I see a ton of circumstantial evidence pointing to an EA at least, including tears, jealousy, etc. I wish she would realize that confessing to having a physical affair, or even only an emotional one, would be all that it takes for me to process the ordeal and then carry on.

    Not getting this confession, with all the evidence I see, is what hurts most and prevents me from moving on. It is not unrealistic at all. Watch how couples come together and fall apart. What about it? For example — if you are engaged to a person who carries on with someone else — NOW is the time to reconsider your plan to commit to a marriage. But we live to please God, not ourselves. My point is simple: a marriage occurs when both partners verbally express, in front of witnesses, a lifetime of physical and intellectual commitment to each other, at the exclusion of all other human beings.

    They promise or commit, to this activity. This is what distinguishes marriage from everything else: it is what defines marriage. The fact that it is unspoken means that in all reality, the only person who can know if they truly are committed is the one thinking the thought. Now quite often both partners tend to agree to this arrangement — as an assumption, but this is no guarantee that it holds true in any specific situation. You can only know the truth if it is expressed to you intentionally.

    All that it proves is that YOU have that expectation — and it implies that your reaction to your expectation being broken may result in behavior that your ex-wife does not like. She will do what she can to avoid that behavior. No one is asking you to sit down and draw out ALL the details such an expectation is unrealistic — given that you are not omniscient — but some details are better discussed than assumed.

    You are working under an assumption that you then attribute to another person. Is it that you would rather play games: expecting her to act in one manner — and then being free to feel all upset when she does not? What is the payoff for not engaging in a simple conversation? You are not married.

    If you do not like the manner in which she behaves — why are you pursuing a relationship with her? What if there never was one? You are not married: you have not committed to any exclusivity with her other than what you have stirred up in your own mind. How would you ever know if she tells the truth? If you already know ALL the facts: then why do you need her confession? One final note: we have added a forum to our site — if you wish to discuss your issue with others — feel free to use it! Jodie his live in girl has changed her feelings for him.

    They have a beautiful house, he bought and paid for. He is and knows he is drop dead gorgeous, works out etc. We have carried on this affair for about 5 months intensely. I am divorced and have my own home and feel absolute no remorse for sleeping with another girls guy. I enjoy life. Gut instinct, phone detail records and well, why not try to follow them sometime from work. HI everyone, I am feeling so bad for a very long time in my marriage. My parents bought a wonderful house for us after we got married for more than 7 yrs.

    He had drinking problems before, he promised me after we have our own house, he will change. My heart is broken, I feel so sad, so sad. Honey he needs to be kicked. Your parents bought the house so kick him out and move on. My husband will be kicked out soon too so I understand the situation you are in. As soon as my ducks are lined up he is out. Be more selective next time dear. I wish you the best of luck. He works full time mad very hard. Can some figure out if he is just tired from work or if there is someone else is his life.

    We can have a hyperlink change contract among us. My God. What do you think of this? Did you ever think that perhaps she just had a desire to feel sexy while you were gone? What should I do he told me he needed space… that he had hatred because we caused alot of harm to each other. I told him to get out of the house and he says his not leaving. Okay so last night he says he found someone to fill the office spot at his office. Really I ask who?

    He says one of my customers. So naturally I ask out of all your customers why is this the one? He says because she is my friend….. Am I overreacting?? He has a lot of women on there, I found a message stating he thought this person was absolutely beautiful and she is sexy. When I confronted him he stated that they talk to each other that way all the time and will block her.

    He told me she was married, like dulls the blow. I think I know my answer on what I need to do but would like to hear opinions. Came across this by accident. Let me just emphasise cheaters are dishonest. Dishonesty leads one to misery. And the idiot who is in love with the man or women who are cheating should know that the one who is cheating will cheat on them too.

    Also cheating can lead to transmission of sexual diseases. Tamara, he is certainly not being honest with you, telling you that she is married is straight up mid information and he is trying to throw the scent off. I have been married for 15 years. My wife has always claimed that our marriage broke on our wedding day.

    Though I have always taken this in jest, in the last two years things have deteriorated to the extent that she has stopped being affectionate. In the last five months I have persevered having a wife who will not show any affection apart from when we went on holiday in December when she agreed to make love to me. However, come January, the same story was back that the marriage is in a state of disrepair and she has no feelings.

    Indeed she prefers out but for the sake of our son who is a candidate, she would like things remain as they are so that the children do not get their lives disrupted. On the issue of children, I agree with her position but I have big problem continuing in a relation that is chewing into my peace. This has particularly gotten me concerned given that she has now taken to coming to work at home up to very late. When she is up to late, she is permanently on phone and texting to people that she claims she is working on their project.

    I have raised the issue of the phone and though she has avoided using the phone, I am sure she still able to chat through other means. In fact, I have noticed that she texts some messages even just before we go to bed which at times is as late as past mid-night. I have no evidence of her cheating but all signs of a potential situation in the making are glaringly clear. I have also noticed in the last two months she has been very affectionate to a married personality that I know and when I ask, the answer I get is that he is just a good friend.

    I can not accuse her of infidelity but this friendship is making me very uncomfortable. Can there be just friendship or am I just refusing to smell the coffee? Ruilicks, I hate to say this but she is seeing someone and you are allowing it to happen because she has you convinced that you and her should stay together for the child.

    She is getting her fulfillment with someone else while you are at home alone and unhappy. Instead of letting her walk all over you in the sake of your child you need to man up and tell her you need to live a happy life and file for divorce. No one deserves to live in a loveless relationship and she is staying out late, talking to another man or woman and just buying time until she is able to move on after the child grows up. So basically, if I get this right, she and you are just together for the child, let me ask you this.. Then she will leave you and you will have no one and all the time you spent sitting around waiting for something to happen will be time lost from your own personal life and happiness.

    So now show her how it feels and move on. My husband of 14 yrs cheated on me with my best friend before and after we married. When I asked my friend 4 years ago to be completely honest about all that had happened between them, that I wanted the full truth, she basically told me to have a nice life and has never contacted me again. I caught them on 3 different occasions and so I already knew but had happened and had hoped she at least could be honest with me…but NO! Guess what his sneaky ways are back. His workouts last about 45 minutes and its a 5 minute drive from the gym to his work.

    Is it just me or does something just not add up there. What is your opinion about my friends reaction and to his recent activities???? Your husband seems to be doing what he wants and when he wants. If you have told him how uncomfortable you feel in regard to his time and activities, you and him should speak to one another and communicate. It sounds as if there is no communication between the both of you. If you know that he has already had an affair , why do you continue to allow him to do what he wants?

    You and him should sit down and speak with one another and you should tell him how you feel and tell him that if he is or plans to be unfaithful, then you and him should part ways. No one deserves to be treated like a third wheel and if that is the lifestyle he chooses then you should go and find someone that will honor your wishes and vows. If you feel that he is set in his ways and you have tried everything you can to save your marriage then it is time to move on. There is NO need to live in a home with no love and affection. More like ask myself why I married him… I caught him before we got married why the hell was I so blind… Ugh.

    Never ever getting married again… And trust me as soon as I find a job and get my pooh together his ass is out of my house. Last straw was today found dried ejaculate in his underwear…. My husband has porn sites that keep showing up all the time in his cell phone browsing history and they are most of the time different from the last ones I find. Is it even possible to have things like that pop up randomly in your browsing history on a cell phone? Please give advice! To me the lie is worse than the act. Please add these to your next edition.

    You call the cheater and they fail to answer their cell phone. One thing that I have learned is this.

    Signs No. 6 to 9 – Odd Credit Card Activity

    When You call your spouse and they fail to answer the phone, only to call you back in a few moments, that means that they are either with someone or at a place that you WOULD NOT approve of. You call your spouse and she claims to be at the mall with a female friend, but the background sounds more like a quiet room. You call your spouse and she claims to be at the library studying or doing research, but the background sounds like a restaurant or mall.

    The cheater seems angry or irritated at unexpected changes in the schedule of the innocent spouse. Cheaters have three schedules to work with. They learn and know your routine better than YOU! They know when they can see the other person and for how long. They want to plan out their rendezvous as efficiently as possible. Adultery is emotional. The day before your off days, and the day after your off days are crucial to catching them. If she is reluctant, upset or acts like she had plans…….. Do the same for Monday on occasion. NEVER tell your spouse too early that you plan to come home or take a day off.

    When you come home early unannounced or tell them about taking time off as late as passible, they cannot hide or mask their true emotions. You will see them! Pay close attention to the passenger seat. Watch everything she moves around once inside the car. Does she remove something from the visor or console and place it somewhere else? The other person may be a co-worker. That means she plans to eat out for lunch.

    There is nothing wrong with that, we all do that. But when the behavior is secretive and lacks transparency…something is wrong. Your spouse comes home and has to do the laundry of everything they wore that day. Even though there is no accumulation of dirty laundry on hand, they will still wash those items. And of course……as soon as the laundry begins, they head straight to the shower. Begin to watch your spouse in the mornings and when you return home later that day.

    Did they change their hair? Are they reluctant? If they do kiss and embrace do they smell like they just recently showered and brushed their teeth? Sex decreases or stops all together. They roll over as far as possible and sleep on their side of the bed. They get up and spend part of the night on the couch. They once slept partially or fully nude, but now they are clothed from head to toe. The sex is different. They believe they are too smart for you to catch them. She eats off your table, sleeps in your bed, drives a car that you provided, enjoys a nice home, and………….. She knows that the day she comes clean, her gravy train is over.

    She knows how you feel about adultery. Why would she risk everything by telling you? The moment she knows…that you know…. If you know….. Plan your exit strategy and execute it. NEVER consider violence. There is someone else who will love you and allow you to love them. Cheaters are as systematic as bank robbers. They plan their rendezvous and cover all bases. If your spouse is cheating, she knows at some point she has to make a choice.

    If she chooses you, the chiasm will be there until she comes clean. If she comes clean, she risks you leaving. She will want money, support and possibly the house. She will make sure that everything is in order before she makes a move. She will open credit card and independent bank accounts. She may increase her work hours to save and store money. She may decrease her work to get more money from you in the divorce.

    She may suddenly want to sale items or assets. Whatever she does, she will not just get up one morning out of the blue and tell you that she wants a divorce. She had that day in planning for at least six months to a year! Because they want their cake and ice cream in their selfish mouth at the same time. Must they lie, cheat, steal and betray the innocent spouse in such a cruel way, and then afterward rape them financially during the divorce? It gave me the opportunity to release my frustration and pain.

    Hopefully some of the personal things that I have shared will help others who have experienced the ultimate betrayal. This is my first time on this site and realized my husband is doing everything it mebtions in the beginning. God bless, I hope you find a wonder woman that loves you as you do her. I just confronted my bf of 14 yrs after discovering his cheating on facebook.

    He was dumb enough to give me his password. I honestly don feel out of control and consumed with rage mainly I feel calm but get small pangs of anger when I think about it. Maybe I feel numb because our relationship has been unhappy for last 6 months or so and I have tried to emotionally detach myself because of our arguing in this time.

    I only found out he was cheating last night. At the moment he is holed up in his room we have seperate rooms and trying to pretend he is asleep but I know he will be frantically trying to think up a story to get himself out of it. What a foolish lady. How can I ever trust him again? Just another sad statistic is what our relationship has become. Being a loyal dog for 14 yrs got me cheated on! My wife found a past friend on facebook. They started talking and texting each other. She always deleted the txt messages and cleared the phone logs.

    Later on she told me she was going to his work place to get some gift certificates for a gift basket. She still says that is the only time they have met. She said fine.

    Factors That Can Lead to Unfaithfulness

    Then I would ask her if she had contacted him since I asked her not to. She said she was just making a comment. She said they still had only met that one time. She then said that was the last time she had heard from him, and he never responded to the e-mail. But she had said that before. Also everytime we hear about people cheating on their spouse and getting someone pregnant she says, she is not going to judge them, people make mistakes. I just want to know for sure, but everytime I ask her she denies it.

    Also I think they realy did stop speaking to each other. I get depressed about it, and my wife says she is sorry I feel that way, but she never cheated on me. Any advise would be great. Chad, this is what cheaters do. Then they try and make you out like your overly suspicious and controlling leaving you feel guilty. Facebook is known now to ruin many relationships and marriages. I could be wrong but it seems as you drove her underground or deeper down because she knows now your radar is on and you are focusing in on her moves. If she is willing to come fwd and be honest and up front then you have nothing to worry about.

    You could monitor what she does electronically or you could have a PI follow her, schedule a trip out of town and have your PI on the job and see what happens. I would advise though that following your spouse or significant other can lead to disastrous consequences. You can put a VAR Variable Audio Recorder in places that she is known to frequent and then listen for things out fo the ordinary. However, if you begin to hear her with someone else. Do not listen to it have a friend or someone you trust listen to it and tell you what is on it.

    Listening to something like that will eat you alive. Thanks for the advice, however I do not believe anything is going on anymore if it ever was. The guy she was talking and texting to has moved out of town and is no longer replying to her e-mails. She has agreed to take a lie detector test, should I peruse that or does her agreeing to submit to one mean it may have all been just a friendship.

    Stop lying to yourself and making it so easy for her. Smith used an example from his own practice to illustrate his point. You used to tell me what you did in your workouts. Healthy couples have clear walls around the relationship, Brittle said. More than likely, your spouse is seeking outside emotional comfort they actually want to receive from you. Asking yourself that could make a huge difference. News Politics Entertainment Communities. HuffPost Personal Videos Horoscopes. Part of HuffPost News. All rights reserved.

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